falling into hell

when i do clean my room
you complain : why is it so messy
well you just don't know the end product
and when i don't clean my room
you complain : aren't you a girl
well if you notice 3/4 of the stuff are not mine
and it would be hard to rearrange everything

when you complain : why are you destroying and sew it to this thing
its because the piece that i destroyed are the ones not used
and when i do get a new piece of apparel
you complain : why buy new one, you still have alot of clothes
yeah, when you say alot it always mean things/clothes that i don't own
since young i've been getting hand-me-downs
im thankful enough cause its still pretty
well i rather not spend my precious savings on such things
and i'd rather not "give" my money away to others
knowing i'll be poor in the near future

when you complain or nag at me : are even listening
of course i have. my silence is the best thing for us
but when i do answer back
you'll be saying : why are you so rude

you complain : why are your so lousy, see other kids they are doing so well
all you do is sit in front of the comp. and not study the whole day
well apparently my lousy marks are off my satisfaction
of course i do study what is so wrong in switching on the comp for music
you complain : look at her marks, she got first. she got into this this this and this
apparently my niece and i are not of the same level
ha! let alone in the same course
we were never on par in the first place

when i seperate unwanted items from my stuff
you complain : why don't you put them together
and when i do
you complain : when are going to throw away all those things

well i'd rather get kicked out of the room
and sleep in the hall if it pleases you
i'd rather starve
knowing that you would cook something whenever someone special comes over

but whatever you complain/say/do
It lightens up my darker side of day


I've been crushed like paper
I've been broken and battered
I've been left unattended
But it carries me far enough away