regurgitate

i know i shldn't be doing this
i'm jeopardizing my own life here
my health cld be in danger
i'm even scaring my friends
it became werst every single time
esp. today. i'm seriously brain damaged.
the thought or an image of havin the perfect body is glued to my mind
that food would be the last thing i need.
i know dat after puking its suppose to make someone feel better
i guess not for me. remorse. is one feeling i have everytime i face the toilet bowl.
instability. that it what i'm afraid of.
the instability of walking straight or even standing up.
ok i may not know what the future has installed for me.
but this sh*t is scaring me.
regurgitate : to cast up (partially digested food)
what shld i do?